I don't want to remember it anymore.
It's bloody eating away at me and it's making me push Harry and Hermione away and I HATE IT.
I don't know what to do or what to say anymore. I feel like such a sodding liar or monster or disgusting thing
in my own skin and I'm so tempted to hex it off. My bruises and cuts have nearly faded away but my hands are still so dirty and I'll get it on them if I haven't already.
I'm tired of talking about it and I'm tired of remembering and I'm tired of reminding myself every day that I'm the reason Harry's not got any more of that blood protection and I'm just so bleeding tired.
Hermione's trying and I want to try but I don't know how. And as for Harry? I don't know. I just don't know.
It's been a year since Sirius fell and he's been in a right state. Some mate I am. I can't even be there for him properly cos I've gone and gotten myself all buggered up.
Thank Merlin I've no class today. I'm going back to bed and I don't think I'll get back out of it. Ever.